Boys will be Boys

  Boys will be Boys

© William J. Gorgus Jr.

I just turned eighteen. Next year I'll get out of school. I've been worken at the local "Shop-n-Save" for the past two months. Being a bag-boy is no easy job. I've been saving my money so I can get some wheels. Right now I have nearly one hundred dollars, well... eighty-nine fifty to be exact.

It was Saturday night and I got off late. On the way home I went past the motor-cycle shop and there in the window was my bike, it was sharp, one of a kind. I could just imagine me and Sue crusin the highway on that baby. No bugs in your teeth on this one either, it had wind-shield, not too high, you had to lean over a good bit but that made it faster and you would get more miles to the gallon. The tank and fenders were green-n-white with silver, real cool, and the price was only $3450, gosh I could pay cash for that. If it wasn't that they was closed I would have gone right in and gotten it, right then and there.

Sunday came and went. Monday I had to work two shifts. Tuesday was all mine. The Cycle shop didn't open until 9:00, but when they unlocked the door I was there. I strolled over to the sales counter where there were signs for good credit, slow credit and even no credit. I felt kinda proud cause I was gona pay CASH, one time deal, get the best price type thing. The salesman got finished unlocken all the doors and stepped up to the counter.  "What can I do for you my good man?" I want to buy that bike in the window! "No problem", he tells me. "Lets start fillen out this paperwork."  “Woah here”, I tell him, “I'm gona pay cash!” “Well that's great, much easier”. He starts to fill out the sales slip.  “OK, That's $3450,  Wait now. I'm payen cash, that should be a little off that price, shouldn't it?”  “Well your right, good thinker. That will be say 3400 hundred, how’s that?”. “Thirty-four what?”, “Three-thousand four-hundred dollars”. Needless to say I spent the rest of the morning fillen out paperwork. With every question he asked me it looked less and less like I was gona be riden that bike in the window.  What I didn't know was that the salesman was more interested in sellen me that bike than I was now interested in buyen it. Every time I was getten ready to leave he came up with a new idea. This went back and forth several times as a matter of fact it was getten to be lunch time.” Ok”, he tells me, “let’s try it. You go get ya some lunch and when you get back I'll know just what we can do.”

I signed the paper and left. when I walked past the window with the bike I didn't even look in, I just walked on by. I got a burger but I really wasn't hungry. I took a seat under an umbrella outside. From there I could see the front door of the "Cycle-Shop" where the sign said, "Closed for Lunch". I nibbled on that sandwich and watched that door. About six hours later, at least it seemed that long, the signed was flipped, "OPEN". I was in no hurry to get up, I knew I wasn't gona get it, besides if I got it was gona cost me $112.00 a month for three years, that's kinda scary.

As I walked in I was greeted with, "Good news, you got the loan." As strange as it may seem I didn't get that happy feeling I thought I was gona get. "Come on over here, he said, we got a few details to work out." “What kind of details do we have to work out?” “Well, first off, do you have a Motor Cycle license? “No, I got one for a car though!” “Well, that won't do it, you gotta have one for a Motor Cycle. You'll have to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and take a test.” How can I take a test for a Motor Cycle I don't even have yet?” “I don't know?”  “You'll have to work that part out with them, but you have to have a license before you can apply for insurance. Do you have insurance for your car?”  “Don't have a car, just a license, no insurance”. He shakes his head, “The loan agreement says that you have to have insurance in effect before you take possession on the Motor Cycle. Now we can get you some insurance that will cover you for either a car and or a Motor Cycle, if you want? Why don't you go on over to the DMV and get that license while I call our agent, that way we can get this all done today?”

So, DMV here I come. There were ten people in front of me. I filled out the paper-work as I waited. It said that I had to have three forms of identification. I had a credit card, a drivers license, and my health insurance card but the very stern lady told me that that wasn't going to do it. I needed my birth certificate, or proof of citizenship and proof of where I live or voter’s registration. It was now 2:30 and they close at 4:00. I ran on home and asked ma for my birth certificate, she wasn't sure where it was. Ma we have to hurry I got to get back to the office. While she was lookin I wrote a note saying that I lived with my folks and their address.... and that I didn't pay any rent. The Birth Certificate was found, I shoved the note over to ma and asked her to sign it and print her name underneath so they can read it. I grabbed it all up and said, I'll explain later. Then back to the DMV.  It was now 3:15 and two people were in line in front of me.

The lady saw me in line and waved me to go get my picture taken where I paid the five dollars and smiled at the camera, then it was back in the line. Only one person in line ahead of me now.  Ok, now my turn. I gave her the papers, she wasn't too impressed. How do I know who lives there? I grabbed the phone book from the counter and found mom and dad’s name and address. I showed it to her. It was now 3:55 and she wanted to go home. Ok, a few taps on the computer and the card popped up, “here sign your name”. I signed it and because I already had a drivers license I didn't need to take another test. By the time they put the picture to it and sealed it in plastic it was 4:15. I was out of there. The license was only good for one day as I had to return with proof of insurance tomorrow.

Back to the Cycle shop. It was 4:40 the salesman was waiting for me. “Ok?  Do you want to pay cash for the insurance, six months insurance is $485.or you can make payments of $86.00 a month with the first payment to be paid now””. I paid the eighty-six dollars and signed the paper. “We never did discus if you wanted the extended warrantee, that would cover the vehicle for a full three years, we can finance that as well?”He tells me. “How much well that will raise your payment too?” well it look’s like about a $122.00, and that’s well worth the ten bucks”, he assured me. AND $86.00 for the insurance, which he politely over-looked.” “One last thing, do you have a crash helmet?”  “Nope don't have one”. “I can't let you leave here without you wearing one, you know, the State Safety Requirement?” Next he takes me to a small showroom with leather jackets and helmets and boots and what do you know they have a helmet painted just the same color as the Motor Cycle I just bought. Wow, and only $115.00. He took me by the arm and point around the room and said softly, “everything you see in this room is sutff you will really need at one point or another.”

“Do you have a girl friend?”  “Yeah, sure I do!”  “Well, I'm sure you noticed that the seat on that bike is made for two, right?”  “Yeah!”  “Well my friend you need two helmets, your girl friend can't ride without a helmet, against the law. Can't she buy her own helmet? (Boys will be Boys.) “Yeah sure she can, but I don't think that would go over to big, do you?. Besides think of how slick its gona look, the two of you cursing around wearing matching helmets, cool huh? What's more if you buy two helmets, today, I can give you ten dollars off of each helmet. That means you just earned twenty bucks, and you don't have to pay income tax on that money. You know down at the Shop-n-Save you pay income tax on every penny you earn, right?  Well here you are in my shop maken money right and left and no income tax. Tell your buddies how you can make income tax free money, here at the "Bike Shop."

“Now look at this leather jacket, First, it's rain proof. Second, it's bug proof, well worth the $250 bucks once you suck a bee up your sleeve at sixty miles an hour. Come fall it will keep you from freezing to death, you know about "Wind Chill Factors" don’t ya?”.So as you can see the leather jacket is more than just a good looken coat. Those black leather boots over there are just as useful, wait till you start kicken up some gravel, you'll wish you had them… I'll tell you what I'm gona do. I won't turn in your sales papers for two weeks while you try out the bike, by then you'll know what you need and we can add it the sales agreement, that way you can spread out the cost. Anything to help a guy get started, I say, and I’m gona give ya free tank of gas along this Cleaning and Wax Kit, just to keep that bike looken new, you can use it on the helmets too.”

“Now let’s get that bike a goinen. I got one just like the one in the window back here in the shop all tuned-up, fresh air in the tires and ready to go”. “Oh, there's one little problem,” I told him, “I don't know how to drive it.” “That's not a problem my boy, that's a privilege. He called across the shop, Randy, take the gentleman and his bike across the street to the track field and teach him how to ride it. Now have a good time, I'll be talken to ya soon”. He patted me on the back and Randy and I headed across the street.

It didn't take too long for me to get the hang of it. I was afraid I'd roll it and get it all scratched up but I never did. Randy saw that I could handle it alright so he left me to practice. I spent about an hour runnen it around there before I took it out on the road. I will admit that I was a little bit nervous when I was setting there waiting for that opening in traffic, but my time came, a good big break in the traffic flow, and rhoom off we went. I crouched down behind the windshield. I could feel the wind blowing through my hair.....Oh wait, the wind wasn't supposed to be blowing through my hair, I didn’t have a helmet on. I made a right turn at the next corner, just like a pro and went back to the bike shop. As I pulled up in front there stood Mr. Peters, the salesman, with the two helmets in hand. I thought you'd be comen back, he said. He pointed out that there was a poach, on both sides, under the seat for the helmets, that was cool.

I took it for a ride up the road and back, boy that was fun. Now I had to show it to mom. To my surprise mom wasn't the least bit mad or anything. She just shook her head and said, "Son, the day you were born only one thing was for sure, your gona die. Now if you chose to die ride’n this thing down the highway, well that's your choice, but as for me, I'd rather die lying quietly in bed." Ok, that was better than I thought it was gona be. I can't wait to show it to Sue. Sue had gone on vacation with her folks and wouldn't be home till Saturday night, that gave me some more time to practice.

I got off work at 8:00 Saturday night. I cursed over to Sue’s house, they weren't home yet. I guess I'll have to wait till morning. I was up and dressed at the first light of dawn and went out back to polish the bike. It didn't take long, after-all there's not much to polish on a Motor Cycle. So I put on a second coat and polished the helmets too. I went back in the kitchen, ma wasn't up yet, it was 6 AM. Why don't I just go for a ride and when I get back ma will have breakfast ready and I can be over to Sues at eight o'clock. boy will they be surprised to see me. I walked the bike out to the street and up a couple of houses so as I wouldn't wake up mom or dad, then rhoom...off I went. Wow, what a feeling of freedom. I felt like a bird. I had gone about thirty miles out when I decided to turn around and go back home. I checked behind me be for any on-coming cars, you know you gotta be safe, the road was clear, so I made a quick "U" turn to head back. About half way through that "U" turn the motor sputtered a bit and when I got it straighten out it was fine. I guess that should have told me something. I looked at the gas gauge and the needle wasn't moven, in fact it was pretty well stuck on "E". The road home was mostly down-hill so I thought I'd turn off the engine to save gas and just coast down into town. Well that didn't work too well. Despite the down-hill grade the bike was slowing down, in fact I'm only going five miles an hour right now. Up ahead the road goes up a small hill so I thought I'd start the engine and make a fast run up the hill then kill it at the top and coast down the other side. It was a good plan, except I seemed to run out of gas about half way up the hill. I had to push it the rest of the way. I didn't know the hill was that steep, didn't know it was that long either.

It was still a long way to town, but I remembered that there was a service station on the cut-off road to Wilsonville and that it was downhill all the way there, for sure. The cut-off road really was down-hill and I was coasting at nearly ten miles an hour. I saw the station up ahead, this made me feel real good. Soon I was rollen up to the pumps. I set the "kick-stand" and un-capped the tank and stood there a minuet or so, and no one came out. I walked up to the door where there was a small sigh, "Closed on Sunday, Praise the Lord". I re-capped the tank and put the kick-stand back and started to push the damn bike out to the road. It was about three miles back to the main highway, I didn't know how I was gona make it. I no sooner got started when this fellow in a pick-up truck came along, "Run out of gas?” My first thought was, No, smart ass, I just thought I'd push this bike up to the highway, but that wouldn't be very nice after all it wasn't his fault I ran out of gas. Uh, Yeah, Yeah I sure did I, told him. He pulled over in front of me. As he got out he reached in the back of the truck and pulled out a gas can. “I got a gallon of gas here, it's for my chain saw, its got oil in it.” I assured him that I didn't care as long as it would burn. He poured it in. I thanked him and offered to pay him but he wouldn't take any money for it, I remarked that the damn people that have that service station over there close on Sunday. “Yeah, I know, he said, I've been closing on Sunday for the past ten years ever since I got saved. Now that engine is gona smoke a bit but it will get you to town or at least to the top of this hill, just kidden, now you have a good day, ya hear?”

I cranked it up and away we went. I got to the top and turned right. I looked back as I roared down the hiway, I was laying down a smoke screen suitable for field combat. It didn't take long to get to town and I headed right into Henry's Service Station, kick stand down, cap off and Henry didn't come out. Sign in the window, "Open Sunday 12 Noon" I stepped up to the window and could see the clock on the far wall 11:30. Well I'll guess I'll have to wait. Might as well get a cold drink out of the machine, "Insert One Dollar" I only had a five and two quarters the drinks were seventy-five cents. So far this ain't my day.

Tom, Henry's son, came and opened the store. It took a little while to get everything turned on, then of course he had to 'ooh and ah' over the bike. He said he saw it in the window of the Bike Shop. Well, I firmly told him, you can still see it in the window of the Bike Shop. The tank took two gallons of gas. I wonder how far I can go on that? Tom, scratchen his head said, Oh, I guess a hundred, maybe a hundred and twenty miles. I looked at the odometer on the bike and it said 127 miles.

I capped it up and climbed on, kicked the starter and poof a cloud of black smoke poured out the tail pipe. Tom leaned over and hollard in my ear, "Kinda smoky ain't it?"  No, I got some break-in oil in it, good for the engine, and off I went.

I didn't bother going home for breakfast in as much as it was lunch time, I went directly to Sue's house instead. I'm sure she is wondering where I was, probably worryin herself to death. When I got there her father was unloading the trunk of the car, “Hello Mr. Williams”. “High there Jim, Suzy is not out of bed yet, why don't you come back later.”  “Oh, Ok”. It's a good thing I didn't come at eight o'clock like I had planned, I thought to myself.

Mr. Williams never saw the bike I guess I could have come up there on the back of an elephant and he wouldn't have noticed. I turned the bike around and as I was about to start it Sue called out the up-stairs window. “Hey Jim, you got wheels, wow, hang lose I'll be right out. In a few minutes” She came bounding out the front door, and ignored me completely and went wild over the bike.  “Wow, what a bike, cool, let’s go for a spin”. “No way, you can't go for a spin dressed like that; you need long sleeves and long blue jeans and boots if you have them.” “Wow, your beginning to sound like my dad, well Ok if you insist”. About a half hour later she came out, bare belly, but long sleeves, hip huggen jeans and a pair of pink boots that come up to the knees, she kinda looked like a Barbie Doll, I said to myself, that green and silver helmet will go real good with those pink boots.

I reached under the seat for her helmet. “Oh hey, just like yours, but I don't want to wear it it'll mess up my hair”. “Sorry, State Safety Requirement that you wear a crash helmet”.” We ain't gona crash, Jimmy!”  “You never know, so wear it. Should you check with your dad before we go?”  No, he's not in such a good mood today, too much vacation. Come on lets go.”

As I started out the driveway I noticed that the bike felt different with two people on it than it did when it was just me. This is going to take a little getting use to. I was going to head out 65 to Luckyville, but the traffic had pick up a little from what it was this morning. I wasn't blowing as much smoke as before either, that’s good.. Sue was holden on for dear life and I didn't mind that all. We were coming up on old Highway 27 what the local folks called "Pot-Hole Haven". When we got there the road was closed for construction. I stopped and looked things over a bit. This would be the perfect day. The road is closed and it's Sunday so the construction workers wouldn't be there and we could weave around all of the pot holes, it would be wild fun. I snaked in around the road barriers and the road was open, dead ahead.

The first part of the road was in fairly good condition you would get more pot-holes the further along you went. Comen up, was pot-hole number one. I did a quick weave around the hole doing about 50. Wow it was just like you see on TV. Number two comen up, zip-zip, number three and four zip, zip-zip. Where we having fun or what?

I was feeling confident so I put the petal to the metal and we went from 60 - 85 in no time. Lost count of the pot-holes but I was zippen them right and left, fantastic.I took a second to check the fuel gauge and when I looked up there in front of use was the bigest pot-hole I ever saw, it went all the way across the road, it was more like a canyon than a pot-hole. We were air-born, before I knew what happened. We weren’t gona make it all the way across, because now I was looken up at the oncoming highway. There was a large rock down there in front of us and we were going to hit it. “Hang on”, I hollered... Crash! Bounce!, and crash again we and the bike were going in different directions.

I went head first into a pile of sandy dirt. I hurt all over. I was having trouble moving. I could see Sue about ten feet away, her face was covered with blood. I managed to get a handkerchief out of my pocket and did my best to get it to her. She crawled a bit and took it. “Hold it against your nose to stop the bleeding” I told her. She said something, I guess she said, thank you?

My cell phone was on the ground beside me. So I picked it up and called my cousin who had a wrecken truck and told him to come and get the bike. (Boys will be Boys) Sue was delirious she keep screaming at me, "The hell with the freaken bike I'm laying her bleeding to death, call an ambulance". Well I didn't have any ambulances on my speed dial and I couldn't remember the nine-one-nine number. Sue helped me with that, "You damn idiot, it's 9-1-1" They answered and asked a whole lot of questions and stuff I just told them to send an ambulance, then hung up. Hey Idiot, you didn't tell them where we were. So I hit re-dial and started all over with them again, this time I told them where we were and that we needed an ambulance and I hung up cause again, I didn't want to waste the battery. (Boys will be Boys) Now, Sue's callen me Biker, cool huh? “Hey "Biker", we need two ambulances, idiot.”  “No we don't, we can both go in the same ambulance, cause we are both going to the same hospital, besides they charge twice as much for two ambulances.(Boys will be Boys)” I could see that she got my message cause she began to crawl over here, I think she wanted to hug me. She got pretty close and she reached out for me and her hands must have slipped and she got me by the neck. She always was a tight hugger but this time she was really tight, I could hardly breath. I could hear the ambulances coming. I hope they get here soon cause I'm beginning to see spots in front of my eyes from her huggen so hard.

I must have passed out or something because the next thing I remember was them putting Sue on the stretcher and tieing her down, poor dear. She was just scream'en and kick’en. They started up the side of the hole to put her in the ambulance. Mean while the other two doctors were putting me on a stretcher, I wasn't scream'en or kick’en or anything. When we got top side I told them to put me in the same ambulance with Sue. One of the guys leaned over and whispered in my ear, “It would be best if we put you in the other ambulance just for your own safety”. Oh, poor thing she must be going out of her mind. This same guy goes on and says that they are going to take me to a different Hospital than Sue, for much the same reason. I told him, he don't need to do that after all we are the best of friends. He leaned over again and said, “Not anymore.”

Boys will be Boys!